On Rome, time, and starting over.

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“So I close my eyes to old ends, and open my heart to new beginnings.”

A trillion years and lots of scoops of gelato and plates of pasta ago, the city of Rome, Italy, was founded today, April 21st, in 753 B.C.​

It turns out, the expression ‘Rome wasn’t build in a day,’ is actually quite the understatement. It took about 1,000 years to construct the city that we now call Rome. And along that road, Rome would be destroyed by the barbarians and left in ruins before the city grew back up around the wreckage and into the city full of life and love it is now.​

When I left Los Angeles in 2015, I held onto my experience there with a death grip for the next five years because I had spent so many years creating it.

When relationships have ended, my partners have left with claw marks on their backs because I didn’t want to let go and say goodbye after having invested so much time into them, and into us.

When walking away from my Instagram account at the beginning of this month, I felt pangs of fear in my stomach because I spent years writing there and creating a community and having a vision of helping people through my words.​


It can, in essence, mean very little.

You can spend an extraordinary amount of time building a business or relationship or community or home or life and the barbarians can still sweep through in moments and leave it in ruins, your foundation crumbled, walls cracked and broken.​

Many of us, if not most of us, if not all of us, have had this experience at some point in our lives, with something we cared deeply about. But the beautiful thing about crumbling foundations and broken walls is that when you clear the rubble, you can put a new foundation in place, perhaps a stronger one than before.​

Perhaps the new city, on the new foundation, will look wildly different than the old.

Maybe the new relationship will resemble one you’ve never experienced before.

Maybe the new direction of your life will be completely opposite of the old direction of your life.

But if we hold onto things because of the time we invested in them, rather than investing our time into the new, we’ll never reach the vibrant city that is Rome today. We’ll stay stuck amidst the wreckage, devastated, and held prisoner by the crumbled foundation.​

Step forward and lay the new bricks, construct the new walls, and follow the new path.​

What’s meant to come with you from the past will come with you, what’s meant to fall away, will fall away.

What are you building?


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